This book took me a while to get through likely because 1) it was required reading for marriage counseling and required readings mess with my mind and 2) because of Gary Thomas’ writing style (he writes in a very straightforward and dry way that leaves me yearning for some humor or life.
Despite going into this book with my eyes clouded because of the above mentioned issues, I enjoyed this book. He has some very great ideas about marriage and the holiness that can be attained through it. I now see that our pastor was right when he recommended this to us.
Some of the jewels from the book are as follows:
- “To spiritually benefit from marriage, we have to be honest.” (13)
- “If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there’s no question – stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.” (21)
- “I wouldn’t be surprised if many marriages end in divorce largely because one or both partners are running from their own revealed weaknesses as much as they are running from something they can’t tolerate in their spouse.” (97)
- “Yes, we need a changed partner, but the partner that needs to change is not our spouse, it’s us!” (101)
- “Creating a family is the closest we get to sharing the image of God.” (241)
Although this book points more to the idea that marriage is not about holiness but about happiness, the author does let you know that if you and your spouse are seeking holiness together, ecstatic joy could be right at your doorstep, however, it could be found where you least expect it.
