Why I love the 4th but hate fireworks

7/4 is one of my favorite days.  I sincerely love it.  I am a history buff and find great joy when I contemplate the sacrifices that were made for our freedom here in America.  Thanks to all those who gave their lives to protect this great country.

But I hate fireworks.  I just don’t get them.  I was never really fascinated with them.  Friends of mine had poppers and sparklers and anything else that was on fire and makes loud noises.  But I didn’t get it.  I didn’t see what all the fuss was about.   I can understand the fascination that pyros have but come on normal people.

So here are 4 reasons why I never liked celebrating with fireworks:

  1. Its hot outside and I’m a Bunch (for those new to my life, here’s an equation:  bunch = lots of sweat.  You could also refer to us as sweaters.   Not Cosby but sweat-ers.)
  2. I didn’t want to stand there hurting my neck looking up at something that is like 2 miles away.
  3. It also sucks because the sound never lines up with the light.  It feels like a bad Japanese movie.
  4. The people oooing and ahhhing.  Have these people never seen lights?  Have they never turned on a TV or driven in traffic?

I thought about having 74 reasons why I hate fireworks on this post but decided to not be a pessimist.  So here’s to our freedom.  Let’s just come up with something better than fireworks to give thanks.

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