Lay me down

There’s this aching in my soul that I can’t break free from.  Its a deep desire that has me yearning to see God move.

Honestly, the past few years have been frustrating for me.  I desire to work in full time ministry and honestly, I am not sure when that will happen.  I have helped start one church that never reached the potential I saw in it and the other one I am presently a part of has yet to reach that potential and that is okay.  We are seeing great things happen and God is increasing my faith immensely through it.

However, I have this goal of working just 1 job for 1 church.  And I have yet to see it capitalized upon.  And this saddens me and frustrates me.

It saddens me because it makes me question whether or not, my own views are skewed somewhat.  It frustrates me because I am not getting my way.  And honestly, if I had my way, the world would not reach the potential God would have it.  So that’s probably a good thing.

So today, I am vowing to reach His potential dreams and not my own.  I’m giving up what I desire… to go towards what He desires.

And this reminds me of a new song by Chris Tomlin & Matt Redman off the newest Passion cd that is rattling through my brain:

I lay me down I’m not on my own
I belong to You alone
Lay me down, lay me down
Hand on my heart, this much is true
There’s no life apart from You
Lay me down, lay me down

My goal no longer is full time ministry but doing only what God calls me to.  And if full time ministry is in my path, then so be it.  Bring it on.  I’m just going to keep following God.

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