I want to be better

I had a very sad day a couple days ago. My Packers lost to the 49ers in what I can only conclude was a simple act of giving up. I couldn’t even watch the end of the game. I wanted to throw something so I just went upstairs and finished out that time watching some standup comedy.
They played in a way that reminds me of me sometimes. No heart. No passion. No drive. And ultimately, no focus.

What made Sunday worse was that my Tarheels lost to Wake Forest? Wake Forest has a good history of being a competitive basketball powerhouse but not the past few years. They are scrubs. I don’t mind saying so. And my Tarheels played terribly. Once again, no heart. No passion. No drive.

And it hurts to see happen. And honestly, it convicts me for how I am sometimes. I want to be better.

I wish I could encourage myself constantly and never drop the ball (pun intended) but sometimes I do. And sometimes I’m just counting the time until whatever-I’m-going-through is just over. I’m waiting out the clock. Yearning for the next thing to come along.

Sometimes that’s the way it goes down but I yearn to have that drive, passion, and heart in all moments. So sadly, I write this: I don’t want this year to be played out like my Packers and Tarheels played out their games two days ago.

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